Faith & Patience {The Story of Us}

Since we’re all new here, and we’re just getting to know one another, I figured it might make sense to share about our story and what got us here.

Let’s just say, it wasn’t exactly the picture-perfect romance that everyone hopes for. We’ve had our ups and downs. From meeting in a McDonalds parking lot, dating through college, living together, breaking up, navigating singleness and finally marriage…there’s a lot to cover. So, let’s jump into it…

When I was a sophomore in college, I worked at a local baseball field during the summer. One of my best friends and co-workers at the park was a guy named Brandon. We became very close during our time at the field and got to know each other pretty well. One night, Brandon was off work and brought one of his buddies to the game (Russell). While I was busy working at the kids zone, managing a herd of little kids fighting to take turns in the bounce house, they were enjoying the game. But we did catch a brief glimpse of one another at some point. The game actually ended up getting rained out, and ended early…so there I was on a Friday night with nothing to do. My mom was even out with friends so no one would be home to hang out with. Reluctantly, I drove home and on my way there I got a phone call from Brandon. He was inviting me to a “party” that night with a few friends, Russell included. Of course, I said yes, looking for any reason to get out of the house on a Friday night.

I put on my best party outfit (a pink blouse and black and pink polka dotted skirt with straps sandals…I still remember to this day), and drove to meet the guys in the McDonalds parking lot of all places. They met me there so that I could follow them to the party since I was driving alone. When I arrived, I saw Russell and Brandon standing outside their car, and I hesitantly walked over. Russell had just turned twenty-one and was offering to buy us all beer. I, of course, came prepared (I’ll elaborate in a future post, but I had a bit of a party stage just prior to this time frame). That was our first meeting. I was immediately attracted to him and thought it was cute that he was so excited about being able to buy alcohol. So innocent and nice. We made the drive over to a quaint apartment complex in the town over, and I quickly noticed that we were the only ones there. Someone had actually let the guys (and about 3 other friends) borrow their empty apartment to have this little shindig. Of course, at this point, I feel completely trapped and set up. I was the only girl amongst 5 guys and it felt a little awkward. Nonetheless, I stayed (because I didn’t want to seem rude or like I couldn’t “go with the flow”), and I was pleasantly surprised. Russell asked me to play a round of beer pong with him (again, this is where we were at at this stage of life) and that led to a major tournament between he and I. It’s so comical to me now, but at the time I found his impressive beer pong skills to be such a turn on. After he annihilated me at beer pong, we sat and talked just the two of us for quite some time. We had the best time. Obviously, I didn’t want to come across too eager or show all my cards, but there was a brief moment where our knees touched while we were talking, and I couldn’t help but notice that neither of us drew away. Soon, the “party” was coming to a welcomed conclusion, and we walked out to our cars. I (pretending to be super bubbly and outgoing) hugged Brandon and the other guys that I knew and said goodnight…I saved Russell for last. Giving him a slightly longer hug than the rest, we both smiled and parted ways. I smiled the whole way home.

That night, as soon as I laid my head on the pillow, I got a text message from Brandon asking if he could give Russell my phone number. I was ecstatic! I literally jumped out of my bed, ran into the living room where my mom was and jumped up and down. Again, I remember this so vividly because it wasn’t really like me to get so excited over a boy. We immediately started texting and played the worlds longest game of “21 Questions” to start to get to know each other more. One thing led to another, and before I knew it, he asked me out on our first date.

He picked me up in his Jeep Grand Cherokee and we went to the movies. I even remember what we watched (White House Down)…but I was a little surprised that he didn’t even try to hold my hand. I thought surely if he liked me as much in person as he did via text messages, he would have gone for it, so I was a little bummed. However, he redeemed himself by being bold in the car on the way home and wrapping the entire song “My Band” by Eminem. I thought it was hilarious and for some reason that made me feel better…like he was letting his guard down a bit. We laughed the whole ride back to my mom’s house, and when we got there I wasn’t ready for the night to be over, so I invited him inside. Now, this is where it get’s a little awkward looking back on it, because my mom was in the living room watching TV and I wanted to introduce them so I wasn’t rude…but she was watching the Hooters Bikini Fashion show and I was just a little uncomfortable watching that next to my date. She didn’t seem to think anything of it, and left it on, so he was awkwardly trying to keep conversation flowing so he wouldn’t have to watch it. We joke about that situation to this day. Eventually, though, Mom went to bed and we changed the channel. The night ended with us sharing our first kiss on the living room couch. A few days later, we went out to dinner and he picked me up again…this time we literally matched completely. We both wore black, white and gray outfits…to the point where I thought about changing. Again, we still laugh about that too. The rest, I guess you could say, is history. We officially started dating not long after.

We dated for almost 4 years, lived together with some of our buddies in a big house off campus and everything was great (I’m obviously speeding things up a bit here and skipping details). In 2016-2017, I really started to develop my faith and invested a lot of time in personal development and spiritual growth. Russ also started to deepen his relationship with God, but I would say at the time I was just a few steps ahead of him in this area. We hit a phase where I became worried that he wouldn’t be able to lead me as a husband someday if we were to continue on the path we were on. Our friends around us were starting to get engaged and I was honestly a little scared of that commitment at that time. I worried that marriage was just the next step for us since we’d been together for a while, and I wasn’t completely sold on the idea. He was working on himself, slowly, but I kind of worried that I was more ambitious than he was and that I would end up being the one who “wore the pants” in our relationship…and that just wasn’t what I envisioned. Needless to say, after a lot of thought and prayer, we had a conversation that ended up in us breaking up. He was a gentleman, and since we lived together at the time, he volunteered to move out and live with his parents so that I could stay put. We were both really sad about this decision, but it was actually leading us into a season that was much needed for us both.

We each handled the breakup in different ways. Russell says that he always knew that I was “the one” and that he had faith that we would end up together someday. He remained hopeful and truly was so humble and patient during this time. He consumed himself with new habits, personal development and growing his faith. Me, on the other hand, I actually started dating just a few months after we broke up. I wanted to “test the waters” as many people say and see if I had the ability to connect with anyone else the way that I had with Russ. All the while, I was actually becoming closer to God in this season than I ever had been before. It was super interesting and almost a huge contradiction of character at this time because while my faith and relationship with the Lord was flourishing, I was also making some choices in my personal life that weren’t exactly a reflection of the person I was trying to become. I really struggled with that.

I began dating a guy that I worked with (ew, 10/10 don’t recommend), and honestly I became infatuated with him. It was as if I expected to pick right back up where I left with Russ but with this new guy. I expected him to love me, to be consumed with me, and I wanted that so badly. Looking back, I think I was simply seeking approval and validation at the time, rather than a love connection with him personally. I was compromising my character at this point by drinking too much and just making not so great decisions. I didn’t know why I was doing what I was doing. Long story short, he called me one night (after about 6 months of dating) and broke up with me over the phone. I was shattered. What was worse was that he literally couldn’t give me an explanation or reason for wanting to break up. “He just did”. The lack of closure from that situation crushed me. I think it was the lowest I’ve ever felt…and all from some random boy. God had some major work to do on me.

After that situation, I continued seeking God and became absolutely hungry for his wisdom and guidance. It was amazing how close I felt to the Lord and how much peace he brought me even during a very emotionally draining season. I experienced things that I never had before in my spiritual journey and it was absolutely a huge blessing.

After almost a year of pressing in and filling myself up emotionally and spiritually, I was in a whole different space. I think experiencing such emotional lows actually allowed me to rely on the Lord in such a way that so much clarity had come from the entire situation. During all this time, Russ and I still saw each other almost weekly. We were still in business together and had things to accomplish, so we just kept things cordial and completely friendly. It was during that duration of time that I got the chance to watch Russell from a distance and I started to notice a lot of positive changes in him. I noticed that he had gained so much more confidence and how he carried himself was very attractive. I noticed that he had developed amazing communication skills and was becoming a leader in his own right. He was always reading or listening to podcasts to help himself continue to grow, and he was simply the sweetest guy ever. Not just to me, but to everyone around him. So humble and calm. It was through watching him and recognizing these things, in conjunction with a lot of prayer and self-reflection that I began to realize that I had made a big mistake. I knew he was the one. Even before we got back together. God had opened my eyes to it, and my heart was ready. 

I started to make up excuses to see him more often. Like, “Hey, do you want to meet up and grab coffee and discuss business” or “We should have a game planning session on how to make it a great month”. It was so funny because we both jumped at those opportunities to spend time together, usually with an excuse of how “productive” we would be (two heads are better than one). One night I was feeling a little daring and I asked if he just wanted to meet up downtown and take a walk and catch up. We must have walked around down town Mount Holly about 10 times because neither of us wanted to go home. It was then that I think both of our eyes had been opened to what was really going on, and we were starting to rekindle our love story. A few weeks later, I called him and asked him to come over to my house. We started talking about business and ideas and “appropriate” topics, but I just stopped him mid-sentence and started apologizing and telling him how I really felt about him. We both cried and before we knew it, we were back together. The past was in the past and we were both SO excited for a new beginning. 

As Russell was leaving that night, we both lingered awkwardly in my doorway for what seemed like an eternity. I finally just said “are you going to kiss me, or what?”, and he laughed and gave me the most heartfelt kiss before leaving. 

From that moment on, we were completely restored. All glory to God! We had been through a lot, but it didn’t matter. We were actually thankful for our journey. We dated for a few months before he popped the question at one of my favorite places, The Billy Graham Library on Labor Day 2018. We were so excited and immediately started planning a wedding, which would happen the following June, 2019. 

We’ve been married now a little over 2 and a half years, and not to toot our own horn…but we have an amazing relationship. Again. praise be to God! We’ve learned a lot from mentors and spiritual giants over the years in the area of building a God-centered marriage and I think we’ve actually gotten off to a great start. 

So that’s it – that’s our love story. I’m sure it was a little different than you may have been expecting (but aren’t all the great ones, anyway?). I just want to say before ending this post that I am 110% thankful for everything we had to go through and overcome to get to where we are today. Sometimes the strangest and hardest times are just cultivating and refining you to become a better version of yourself, and we’ve experienced that first hand. Today, I couldn’t be happier to share my life with my amazing, wonderful, god-fearing Husband, Russell, and I cannot wait to see what the future has in store.